Which files do you maintain?

I watched a movie The Last Castle, which is based on a true story of a special prison for soldiers. Yes, the movie was fascinating and I liked it. 

One dialogue of the warden triggered an idea, which I would like to share with you. He said, “Whenever I start becoming a little emotional or lenient towards any inmate, I immediately take out his file in which his history & description of crime is written. That reading helps me to maintain my balance and ruthlessness.” Well, as a warden to a prison where prisoners, who have committed heinous crimes, you are supposed to maintain a certain protocol to ensure discipline. That warden character in the movie commits extreme brutalities in order to punish the inmates for their crimes. I would like to leave it to experts to comment on it, whether this thinking or style of a prison warden is justified or not. I am not capable enough to comment on such complicated issues.

There was a marine who had served 10 years as a fantastic soldier but in one 10 second lapse in judgment he committed a murder and was treated as a criminal for next 20 years in the prison. He is kept with same hardened criminals who have always broken law of the land. Is it justified? You decide. Should we be judged by our deviations or consistent behavior? I am sure in legal system there must be some provisions to differentiate it. I am certainly not talking about extreme criminal mistakes. My point of view in this article is restricted to ordinary people with ordinary day to day mistakes of anger, jealousy, envy, arrogance, insecurity, superiority, procrastination, laziness etc. 

The question that propped in my mind was, “Do I also keep such files in my mind for people around me?” I am not dealing with criminals; I am surrounded by ordinary people like me, who are neither white nor black. We are all black & white. We are all work-in-progress. Do I also behave like that warden in my conduct? Do I also maintain a mistakes file of some people, who I have decided to hate, punish or isolate? Do I conveniently discard the achievement file of same people? Which file do I maintain more? Do I ever forget to make a new entry in mistakes file? Do I maintain the achievement file of the same person with same precision? Well, I know my answers and am not disclosing here for obvious reasons.

People around me are not perfect, so am I. I am sure if somebody wants, can maintain a similar file on me too. I have also committed hundreds of mistakes in behavior (will be making more for sure) and can easily be remembered for them too. At the same time I also have done few fantastic things in life. Which number is more? Well, you can guess. 

Do I prefer to be treated by my mistake file or achievement file? How will I behave with a person who always treats me on the basis of my mistakes file? Will I be more productive around such person? Would I like to be around that person at all?

What do you do with these files? Are you keeping any such files in your mind about people around you? How does it impact your life? Should we be judged by our deviations or consistent behavior? Should we be judged by our mistakes (ad-hoc/unintentional)? What about others?  

I have been thinking a lot on these questions and have gotten a bit clarity about what I should be doing and have already started working on it. What about you? I would not like to suggest anything more here, you decide. I would love to hear your reflections on this article. How does it resonate with you? 

Think about it.