Sustenance is Underrated Yet More Important

 I am sure you know that Facebook has more members than total population of USA.

There are some corporations which look like greater than anything and everything around them. However, success can indeed be fleeting as they say, so one must wonder if today’s successful companies will become not so successful in distant future and loose their charisma. I don’t need to give examples of how giants have fallen in the past. So, is current profitability, employee strength, culture or turnover is the right or only criteria to measure the success of a good company? Is longevity also a criterion? Well, to my mind, it does. For me, becoming successful can also be a fluke, but to remain successful in long run requires lot more than just one good business idea. Sustenance requires more effort than creation.

I have seen many bubbles getting created and getting busted too. We see it all around us in almost all fields. Whether, it is in sports, movies, politics, business or spirituality; many enter but few stay. Even in relationships, forming is the easiest part but maintaining cordial relationships is the hardest job to do. Isn’t it?

Speaking of time and staying in power, there is a company that has been around for quite some time. It has been in existence for over 1,400 years. Surprised? Well, google it. Kongo Gumi Construction is a Japanese Buddhist temple construction company that was founded in 578.  Its founder was a Korean who came over to Japan and started his own company.

What makes this company unique is it is family owned and run. Keeping family harmony and the desire to move forward must have been some feat. The company has experienced great events in the history of Japan. Buddhism was introduced less than 50 years before the company started, many ruling dynasties came and went, the ninjas, the samurais, two world wars, and Japan reign of being a global economic power. This company saw it all. Among the company’s traits is its flexibility, the company head need not be the eldest son, it can even be a daughter or a son-in-law. It’s just not about blood but also about leadership capability.  The company stayed focused on temple construction though it made coffins during World War II and has gone into apartment and other building constructions.

Seeing an opportunity in the booming Japanese real estate sector in the 80s, it borrowed heavily and got caught when the bubble burst in the 90s. Saddled with heavy debt and with less demand in temple building, the company was forced to become a subsidiary of Takamatsu Construction Group in 2006. Takamatsu was founded in 1917. Will this company have its own 1,400 year run? I don’t know.

I have a very special regard for TATA Group of my country India, who has been doing ethical business successfully for the last 150 years and getting stronger day by day. The promoters may not be featuring in Top 10-20 richest men in world or flaunting their wealth but they definitely hold a high regard in the hearts of billion Indians at least. One of most trusted and respected brand in India and worldwide.

 Would you rather build a company that looms large then disappears or a relatively obscure one that lasts for a long time? I’d go for the latter, as sustenance require more efforts than creativity. How about you?

“Sustenance requires more effort than creating.” Suresh Mohan Semwal 

Sustenance is Underrated Yet More Important.

How to Control Ego & Anger?

One day I shared with my mentor the inability to control anger, arrogance or ego especially when I feel I am right and the other person is at fault. (This is almost all the times.  Though, it is my convenient assumption with my fabricated logics.)

I said, “I am unable to resist using harsh words or wrong language with others. I do feel bad sometimes after the behavior but still find some justifications to it.”

My mentor looked at me surprisingly and said, “But I have never seen you abusing or using bad or harsh words. Maybe you are too critical on yourself unnecessarily. Don't be so hard on yourself.” I answered, “No sir, in front of you or to you, I think many times before I speak and take lot of care of my tone, words / language so that I don’t offend you or anyone in your presence”

He smiled and said, “Then it is very simple. Whenever you are talking to people, assume you are talking with me.”  What a profound suggestion. Isn’t it?

I realized 'Isn’t it true that we take lot of precautions in communication when we are with someone whom we respect or is at a powerful position than us? 

We only become casual & callous when we don’t treat others as equal or don’t respect them. Think about it. ?

If the basic premise of our dealing with people is; I am superior, what does he know etc., then rude language and arrogant behavior is an obvious consequence.

If we put this belief in our mind that everyone irrespective of age, status deserves to be treated with respect, until they prove otherwise, we will communicate with them as equals, with respect and courtesy.

I decided to follow this and told him of my commitment. And then came the bomb. He further suggested that, “Controlling anger and staying humble needs very sincere efforts, you will fail many times. Next time when you behave arrogantly or lose your cool unjustifiably and realize your mistake, within 24 hours go back and touch the feet of the person who you have wronged or hurt.  Say sorry, with folded hands, clearly stating about what but, without giving your reasons or justification, plain admission and apology. If you follow this, the chances of you repeating this luxurious mistake will drastically reduce.” He further added, “I can assure you, if done seriously & sincerely your EGO, the very reason of anger will stop you to get angry. BUT your sincerity is a prerequisite.”

These two profound suggestions have really helped me a lot.  Lot has improved, yet at times old patterns do take over.

Yesterday in the Covid stress I yelled at my wife, for nothing really.

Now, I need to honor the apology drill with my wife today. I am thinking of doing it after finishing this article. Test time. Will I do it finally or not? I leave it to your guessing.

See if you would like to practice the above and see its impact on you.  

Think about it.

Rejections:

Anyone with a little bit of success in life will tell you that rejections are unpleasant part of the process of achieving anything significant in life. Not just for achievement but after being successful too one has to handle rejections continuously. Does anyone like being rejected? I seriously doubt that. But, can we bypass this process? Yes, if we kill our dreams and are willing to live with unfulfilling life.

Admission in great schools/colleges, job in great companies, getting in relationship with a person of your dreams, more social media appreciation, promotion, more customers, whatever you need you will have to take the chances with rejection. Isn’t it? So, what do we do? Learn, how to handle it. I have following suggestions, which may work for you:

1. Understand and accept it as part of process. Don’t take it as a judgment of your character or a person. Most of the times vacancies are limited and they can’t accommodate all deserving people. So, don’t take it personally.
2. Understand the reason of rejection. Is it lack of knowledge, skill or something else? Have you done enough to work on these? If no, work hard on yourself so that you don’t get rejected again for same reason.
3. Look at the credentials of person who rejected you. Sometimes people with no credibility or substance may also pass comments. Don’t take them seriously. If the person has substance, take it as feedback, learning and work on it.
4. Think of all those who love you unconditionally. Talk to them.
5. Remember, nothing is permanent, try again after preparation.
6. Suppose you will not get any other chances at the same position now, realise that something better may come up due to this rejection. History is full of such blessings in disguise.

In the nutshell, rejections are part of life. Take it on chin and move on but don’t live with guilt that you did not even try. Guilt is more painful than rejection. Think about it.

Happy New Year

Bye Bye 2020 (Finally you are going…)

Welcome 2021 !!

This 20-20 was quite a disruptive year in many aspects for most of us unless you happen to be manufacturing sanitizers, PPE Kit, Masks, pharmaceuticals or immunity enhancing products or working with Republic TV, Netflix, Amazon, Reliance, Whitehat Jr like companies.

For most of us ending of this year itself is a happy news. I guess, this year was unique in many ways:

1. ‘Alcohol’ word has been able to shed its negative image and has become a life saver. There was more alcohol in hands than guts this year.
2. Unsmiling and poker face people were benefitted because smiling & joyful people also had their faces covered.
3. We got so much time with our loved ones that they will not miss us anymore in whole life.
4. School going children have started missing the class room, teachers and punishments.
5. Teachers and parents are encouraging kids to use internet and phone.
6. All students are passing the exams with flying grades (suddenly every student has
7. Become intelligent)
8. Now you can mute the teacher by choice and disappear from class by choice.
9. In Delhi (unless you are agitating on something or you are a part of election rally) you have to pay 2000 for mooh Dikhai…(not wearing mask)
10. First time we were paid to be at home (salaried class)

However, nothing in this world is Good or bad, everything is Good & Bad (quantity may vary). This 20-20 was no exception and has brought the following +ve in our lives:

1. We have realized the importance of Health.
2. There was lot of savings in terms of cosmetics, shoes and clothes purchase.
3. We have realized the importance of Saving.
4. Now we know, who cares for us and how much.
5. Seeing -23% GDP, every year will feel good now economically.
6. Every year other than 2020 now hopefully will be a happy year.
7. We shall be enjoying our work life more than ever.
8. We don’t have the excuses of no time to pursue our hobbies or clear our pending tasks.

May this 2020 become a strong base for us to bounce back with more strength, wisdom and strategies to make 2021 a fabulously successful year. I wish you all a very rocking new year 2021. Let us make it POSSIBLE.

 

The Buck Stops with Leader

If you are at a significant leadership position tell me how familiar you are with the thoughts like:

• Why some people do not do their work diligently?
• Why some people need to be told ‘what to do’?
• Why some people do not take initiative and ownership?
• How can some people be so incompetent and not even realise it?
• How can some people be so casual about even their own future?
• How can some people be so shameless about being mediocre?

Not familiar with these thoughts, please don’t read any further. You are a great leader with a great team and rest of my assertions are no good for you. Thanks.

Since you have decided to read further I am sure  the above mentioned thoughts do cross your mind or you still are curious to know my thoughts. In that case, I want you to please ponder upon the following questions:

• Who is responsible for hiring right people for job?
• Who is responsible for grooming or training people for job?
• Who is responsible for tolerating the incompetence?
• Who is responsible to create a productive work environment?
• Who is responsible for listening to whispers?
• Who is responsible for clearing the doubts or insecurities?
• Who is responsible for status quo or deterioration?
• Who is responsible to get rid of excess baggage or dead wood?

 Well, as a reasonable leader I assume you pretty well know the painful answers to all above. Where does the buck stops? Stop sulking, whining, complaining and start creating the organisation you always dreamt about. Nobody else can be held responsible for your failure as a leader. Take charge, this is what leaders do. Take responsibility for action (specially to make hard decisions and remember hard means difficult for you, not necessarily for others). An organisation is a large shadow of its leader and if you do not like the shadow, you know what you need to work upon. Go, own the game! If you need any assistance in it, contact POSSIBLERS.

Relationship

 

“A relationship where you can be weird together is your best choice.”

- Paulo Coelho

A mother was preparing little Ramesh to go to a party. When she finished combing is hair, she straightened his shirt collar and said, “Go now son, have a good time and behave yourself”.

“Come on mother please decide, what exactly do you want me to do. To have fun or to behave myself. Because both are not possible.” Ramesh said.

The child’s response is really of tremendous value. He has clarity that, if you allow me to have a good time then I cannot behave if you want me to behave then I cannot have a good time. The child can see the contradiction so clearly it may not have been apparent to the mother.

Are we any different? If we behave ourselves, we can’t have good time in relationships and if we want to have good time, we are no more ourselves. Isn’t it funny? We need to constantly adapt, adjust, align and accept many things to sustain the pleasantness in relationships.

One of the few things which is common to all human beings is ‘relationships’. Isn’t it? And, as you know, there are different kinds of relationships. Some are personal and some professional. Some intimate and some superficial or complicated.

Our relationships are a funny thing. The irony is we can’t live without relationships and we can't even live happily within relationships. Some relationships bring more pain than joy. So, the real question is, ‘how to make our relationships more pleasant, less painful’?

Why relationships?

But the purpose of most relationships happens to be ‘Need fulfillment or Desire fulfillment’. We get something from each other, and that need binds us in a relationship.

I know it might sound uncomfortable, blunt, brutal or unjustified to some of us, but that's just what it is, my friends. Our desire or need can even be to help, support or give, but there has to be some need or desire that you wish to fulfill. Think about it!

We all have heard the quote, if not used already, “I am a self-made person.” And we also must have heard this advice that we should be self-sufficient and should not be dependent on other(s), else we sound clingy. With all due respect to all those who have used these phrases I would like to say that “dependence on other(s) is inevitable for every human being”. All these phrases are nothing but arrogance or ignorance.

To be born, we need parents and doctor’s support. Human child is the most helpless creature, whose very survival is totally dependent on parents or other humans. Whatever we know today or whatever we have ever achieved was always supported by someone else. “One is not a sufficient number to achieve significant success”. Well, we may have paid for certain services that we availed but it does not take away our dependence on other(s). It only shows that we are thankless ignorant. That’s it. Even to go back from this world, we need people support. Isn’t it? The dead hardware needs to be disposed by others.

During our lifetime we all experience survival dependence, financial dependence and emotional dependence. Parents, teachers, doctors, brother, sisters, friends, colleagues, customers and even foes are all human beings on whom we depend for many things. What is the fun of achieving success, if there is no one to show off? So, even competition helps us to become better. Think about it. So, we can’t live without relationships and obviously our intention is to have pleasant and productive relationships. However, in reality no relationship gives anything permanently. Therefore, one must need to learn how to cultivate and handle a relationship. Managing relationship is an infinite game, where we need to constantly remain aware and adjust as per the demand of situation. There will never be a time where you can take your eye away from the ball. It needs constant juggling. Whether it’s tiring or entertaining depends on our outlook and expectations.

As per my little understanding, minimum four components are required to have a reasonably pleasant relationship.

The first component is, Trust.

If we trust the other person, then the other things can be worked out. You cannot have a healthy relationship without it. And yet, virtually all of us can recall a scenario where our trust has been broken. We need to work hard on ourselves to become trustworthy. Honouring your informal commitments with 100% commitment, refraining from backbiting, consistency of positive behaviour, avoid boasting about yourself and avoid criticizing unnecessarily are some of the steps that can help people to trust you. 

The second component is, Respect.

There are many people that we trust but may not necessarily respect them. Respect here will not be determined by age, relation, or position. But by the fact that in its absence, a genuine relationship cannot last very long. Listening well without judgment, focus on the strength/potential not only weakness, careful use of language are some of the signs whether or not we respect the other.

The third component is Communication. For any relationship to thrive, clear communication is a must. There should be a safe space to express your feelings, both positive and negative. Communication gap leads to misunderstanding, miscommunication and ultimately end of relation, though in some cases the contract may still carry on.

The fourth but most critical component is Patience. Expecting the other person to match your speed, skill, style and attitude will lead to disappointment. Every person is unique and so is their pace. Do not be in a hurry to throw in the towel. As per Vedanta, only gradual changes can be sustained. All good things take time. Forgiving the mistakes gracefully is a must trait for maintaining relationships.

We must understand and accept the fact that relationships, like tender plants, need to be watered and nourished every day. That is how they grow and evolve. Do not expect them to remain the same. As I sometimes share in my programs that “Expecting a static relationship status with dynamic beings is bound to lead towards disappointment and frustrations”. Think about it!

Therefore, one must learn to accept the dynamism of relationships. We must focus on maintaining Trust, Respect, Communication and Patience. For any relationship to grow both the partners must grow. Always remember, “All relationships grow, some grow together other grow apart.” I would like to conclude by saying that relationship is all about two things: First, appreciating the similarities and second, respecting the differences.

“Expecting a static relationship with a dynamic being is an unreasonable expectation.” 

– Suresh Mohan Semwal

 

Commitment

“Motivation is what gets you started. Commitment is what keeps you going”. 

Are you interested in good health, cordial relationships, prosperity, respect, and happiness? I know the universal answer would be an emphatic ‘Yes’. Isn’t it? 

Now, if I may ask you, are you committed to get all of the above? 

We all want or desire all the great things and experiences, but only till the time they are convenient to get. Isn’t it? Given a choice who would not want to have a healthy body? But the challenge is to control diet, regular exercise. Isn’t it? 

How many of us ever thought of learning to play some musical instrument or to play some sport at professional level? Many, I guess. But then what stopped us from achieving the goal? We were interested, but not committed. What is commitment? How do I know whether I am committed or not? 

I may be interested in helping all mankind, but my family welfare is my commitment. What is the difference? 

Commitment is an act of visible willingness. 

Does this sound familiar to you? 

• I would have loved to join this course, but I don’t have time?
• When I started learning tennis, I was super excited but now, I need to pull myself for every game.
• I really want to know if my loved one or friend is committed to me.
• I broke up due to lack of commitment from the other person.
• All was just going great, it’s just that feeling of insecurity which made us drift apart.

We are interested in everything till the time it’s easy or convenient. We do things till the time and circumstances are favorable, but when you are committed to something you make no excuses and focus on results. 

What percentage of commitment do we expect from our soldiers, doctors, drivers, teachers, sportsperson or family members? Of course, 100%. Will 99% be sufficient? No. How would you feel if your lover tells you that I am committed to you 99%. You will be more worried about that 1%. Isn’t it? We need 100% commitment from others 100% of times. What are we 100% committed to? 

Dashrath Manjhi, also known as Mountain Man, was a laborer in Gehlaur village, near Gaya in Bihar, India, who carved a path 110 m long (360 ft), 9.1 m (30 ft) wide and 7.7 m (25 ft) deep through a ridge of hills using only a hammer and chisel. After 22 years of work, Dashrath shortened travel between the Atri and Wazirganj blocks of Gaya town from 55 km to 15 km. His story is an apt example of commitment towards cause. There is also a Hindi movie made on his life “Manjhi- The Mountain Man”. It is an amazing love story too. Everyone must watch it. 

Whether we are committed or not is reflected in following traits: 

1. Sacrifice
2. Flexibility

3. Patience

Sacrifice: 

Every commitment requires a sacrifice. Once you make a commitment, you give up some freedom. By choosing to commit to one thing, you may have to give up other things. 

What are you willing to sacrifice? Nothing significant has ever been achieved without significant sacrifice. When India was under British Rule before 1947, majority of Indians were interested in independence, but there were only very few who were willing to sacrifice their lives, livelihood, and family. Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat Singh, Ram Prasad Bismil are some of the names who sacrificed everything to get independence for our country. They were not just interested, but committed to attain freedom. 

Every committed person is willing to pay the price. To attain peak of our health we need to sacrifice taste, comfort, and temptations. To attain cordial relationships, we must sacrifice our ego. Isn’t it? 

“If you don’t sacrifice for what you want, what you want will be the sacrifice”. Think about it. 

Consistency: We get motivated for a while and start many things but do not take them through. We may have taken some initiative, but what we lack is completing them. Completion requires consistency of efforts. Do not judge yourself or others because of random behaviour. Our routine behaviour determines our life. It is not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, it’s what we do consistently. 

Consistent efforts bring consistent results. 

Not throwing the towel (boxing game rule) in between is the key. We all have made certain sacrifices in our lives, but very few are able to maintain the consistency. Consistency means remaining focused despite deviations, distractions, obstacles, failures, or criticism. 

“It is consistency which transforms average into excellence.” 

Flexibility: Commitment and flexibility might sound contradictory here but let me explain this. To fulfill the commitment a person must be fixated towards the goal, but flexible in approach. The problem comes when it is the other way around. When you are fixated in your approach, but flexible in goals. A committed person will be willing to let go of his ego and be willing to change the methodology to get desired results. They will be willing to change their approach, rather than lose sight of the goal. “Be fixated towards your goals but flexible in your approach”. 

Patience: Patience is a human virtue. Animals have tolerance but only humans can claim patience. Sometimes you need patience to deal with circumstances that are beyond your control. These are your "life hassles." Something as trivial as getting stuck in a traffic line, for instance, or waiting for a computer program to load. 

Patience is a maturity to show what to control and what to let go. Patience is the ability to stay calm while you are waiting for an outcome that you need or want. It is having learnt what is worth your time. In general, being patient means that you're more likely viewed positively by your co-workers and managers (and your family and friends). You'll likely be a better team worker, and more focused and productive. 

You may consider some people to be slow learners, hard to understand, or even downright unreasonable. Or, they may have bad habits that drive you crazy. But losing your patience with them will be of no benefit, and it may make matters worse. 

Patience and understanding towards others is essential when you're onboarding new staff, or when you're delegating tasks. It's also a huge help in dealing with difficult co-workers or managers, and it's central to high-quality customer service. Dashrath Manjhi worked for 22 years alone to make that road. Similarly there is an Indian Forest Man- Jadhav Payeng, who kept working patiently for more than 3 decades and is still working to cultivate a whole forest on a barren land. 

Life of Jadhav Payeng is a fantastic example of human will & commitment. Jadav "Molai" Payeng (born 1963) is an environmental activist and forestry worker from Majuli, popularly known as the Forest Man of India. Over the course of several decades, he has planted and tended trees on a sandbar of the river Brahmaputra turning it into a forest reserve. The forest, called Molai forest after him is located near Kokilamukh of Jorhat, Assam, India and encompasses an area of about 1,360 acres / 550 hectares. In 2015, he was honoured with Padma Shri, the fourth highest civilian award in India. He was born in the indigenous Mising tribe of Assam. I would recommend that you search for him on Youtube and get inspiration from such a simple but committed person. 

Answer these simple questions to know how committed you are: 

1. Are you doing your best you can?
2. Are they one-time effort or continuous?
3. Do you feel fulfilling while making these adjustments, efforts, or sacrifices?
4. Are you focused on your goal? Are you able to manage distractions and temptations?

I think if we honestly answer the above questions, we will have absolute clarity about our commitment levels. Think about it. 

“When confronted with a challenge, the committed heart search for a solution. The undecided heart searches for an escape.” 

- Andy Andrews